nobody knows me

I've had so many lives
Since I was a child
And I realise
How many times I've died
I'm not that kind of guy
Sometimes I feel shy
I think I can fly
Closer to the sky

This world is not so kind
People trap your mind
It's so hard to find
Someone to admire

No ones telling you how to live your life
But it's a setup, and I'm just fed up
It's no good when you're misunderstood
But why should I care?
What the world thinks of me
Won't let a stranger
Give me a social disease

I don't want no lies
I don't watch TV
I don't waste my time
Won't read a magazine

I sleep much better at night
I feel closer to the light
Now I'm gonna try
To improve my life

Nobody knows me
Like you know me

Its no fun but the damage is done
Don't want your social disease

less is more

dear diary,

i want to be careless and care less.


xx

you want this glam wallpaper up yours

This wallpaper is meant for you to glam up your laptop, instead of that boring view of the hills or whatever. Put it on every single desktop in your office, let ze do the talking ;)

HOW?

1) Click on image
2) Right click on bigger image
3) Click on 'Set as desktop background'
4) Walla!


bling it to me baby xx

six days to 50

dear diary,

what makes a person so different from others? what makes them stand out and b extraordinary for just being them? in a world thats fast heading towards globalism where everybody thinks/acts/talks/dresses the same, it actually takes effort to not pay attention to what the media terms as cool or "normal". But for some, not giving 2 fucks about what others think of them and going with instincts come naturally. and if u'r a woman doing so means coming off acting like a bitch. madonna inspires me everyday, whether i realize it or not. and i hope she continues to.

here's to an icon xx

moon man is my mr right

dear diary,

i thought to myself today, if i had to choose between scoring an MTV award and scoring MR RIGHT, i believe i'd choose the award. In a glance it seems more achievable and tangible and you know that when you get it, you have it for life and no one can really take the fact that you won the fuckin moon man away from you. but a person, on the other hand, he's not forever. you just never know. plus, how do you know when you've found one? you certainly would know what an mtv award would look like but mr right? what would he look like and how do you define this person? and to think that you normally only find men when you're not looking - wtf is that all about? with sexy moon man, however, theres no way you'll get there if you're not looking to score one. dream the fuck on. its not gonna fucking fall on ur fucking lap. finding mr right is a matter of sheer luck. you're not gonna find him on facebook or match.com or from a girl's night out or at a wedding, but then again, who the hell knows? y should i waste my make up and mobile SMSs on something you dont even know is going the direction you want it to? god knows ive spent a shitload more on mr right. and where has it gotten me? i lost him and thankfully still got a bit of sanity left. but im not sure if it's enough to venture on another. so fuck the ideology of mr right because i already found him and took me fuckin 2 years to discover he was, in fact, mr right - only he wasn't MY mr right. fuck love with a capital F. n the way it just fucking fucks w ur head.

please ignore me, ill be fine by morning xx

i dreamt of the day i could tell you to fuck off

dear diary,

there once was a magazine who clearly hated me and my vision and basically made a review out of personal hatred by using my shameless album. and guess what? looks like i sustained longer than they have. their url no longer directs to anywhere, so i shall assume they've died a sufferably long and painful death. i thank my sister n friends who were there to keep me going... wooh!!

celebrate good times come on xx

thank god its fuckday

dear diary,

i love mornings :) being up early in the morning is completely different from my usual being up so late it's early. people close to me would know that it is a rare thing for me. i'm nocturnal, naturally. my sister understands that best. we have our spontaneous meetings at 3am in the morning, because that's when we're most awake for business brainstorming sessions. i love it. and i miss that right now. so here i am , w toasts on one side and hot chocolate on the other, staring out into the garden in my lazy clothes, listening to jack johnson n typing this out... feels so carrie bradshaw. i cant help but wonder. haha. i slept at 8 last night and up before 6. my mom wouldve been proud. first thing i did as always, pick my laptop up , check my myspace n emails n fbook. then watch a couple of lost episodes. talk to ben. organize my week. plan for londonedge. feels like it's gonna b a good weekend. hopefully i get to explore a bit of london nightlife since we're off fr the festivals. n perhaps write a new song.

im happy n at ease xx

so it's yellow

dear diary,

back fr loch lomond last night. wooh. lets just say it was eventful, for now to say the least. today when i eventually got my ass off bed, went to check out pure london, a fashion trade show at olympia. the same venue where osixnine will be exhibiting in sept. huge place! and does look like a lot of fun, so im looking forward to that... n tomorrow's my first day at dont panic, not sure what my job requires me to do just yet. nothing sexual i hope. also just updated my profile photo on myspace... getting a lil zzz w the old one so thought id give it a fresh air!

now u know what colour it is xx

lego heels

dear diary,

my sister blogged these heels. they're balenciago lego and they're US$4175. and who the hell said the best things in life are free? go shoot yourself! I WANT THESE SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! goddamit.

xx

x

dear diary,

i dont want to go home.

xx

i am the shiznit

dear diary,

how the fuck can they compare me to that bitchofaslut? i dress better, dance better, and sure as hell smell better. n i keep it real, dont think u know wht that means, whore. no, i dont use the word HO, cause whore is in fact the correct spelling. hmm. all of a sudden i hv the urge to check on news of back home. gimme a sec. okay, boring. same ol same old. oil, sodomizing, oil, sodomizing, who has more power, who doesnt, who has money, who doesnt. people, there r more important things in life like will i get too see amy winehouse live before anything bad happens to her. which, ofc i hope not but she already is a fckn legend, so girl pls dont do a hendrix on us. im now regretting not catching her at glasto. slap myself. urhk.

haha, dont take me seriously. ever. xx

hey, witch

dear diary,

somebody wrote me this email a couple of days ago. i cant believe i almost deleted it without reading...

"You've reeled in another little USA fan. I'm lovin' your shit. Your "bitches don't fuck with me, I'm the damn elektro-goddess" attitude is very alluring, and it's one of the main reasons I love your stuff. You're quite possibly the funnest artist I've encountered, and I'm talking your music up in my area.Anyway, I found "too sexy" by freak chance about a year or two back with no artist name attatched to the file, and spent the entire time just trying to figure out who should be exhalted for its creation. The amount of confidence and flirtaciousness you put out in your work is, in all honestly, a huge inspiration to me, and has shown up in some melodies I've worked out as well as in the death of my being socially shy. I really wish more people knew of you!!But whatever you're doing, you must be doing it right to have this kind of impact on a person. Looking forward to future productions from ya, honey."

love, thanks for the electrogasmic moment. u know who u are ;) xx

hello, where is the disco

dear diary,

my myspace hit the 100,000 of profile views today. wootness. i'm celebrating that by releasing yet another track, HELLO DISCO, which is now the first track on the player :) also, VERY IMPORTANT to note that if you google 'i am glam' you will find that i'm on the first page. haha.

rocksteady, bitches! xx

love is a four-letter word

dear diary,

i cant sleep until i wrote this. was watchin dexter earlier, it was the first time i actually watched it and didnt think it was v impressive but that doesnt matter. point is, one of them went on a date that went bad and said he figured something out about life. he says 'there can only ever be one beautiful relationship in your lifetime, and i've already had mine', smiled to himself and moved on. it's disturbing to think if it's true, cause i think i might have had mine too.

love is a four-letter word xx

here & there

dear diary,

there i've everything
a room of my own
a place to call home

here i've nothing
a space to sleep
almost, with enough to eat

there are my friends
here are new trends

there i can drive
when im sad and deprived
from the things i really want in life

but here i can live
and be proud of what i can achieve
and not be ashamed of my dreams

there i want to escape
from what i am
blame others when i can

here i am free
to be all i wish to be
and see things differently

there i've everything
a room of my own
and a place to call home

but i still want to be here
where i'm broke and happy, right here.

xx

are french kisses really from france?

dear diary,

okay, ive succumbed. finally bought a book to learn french, L to the fucking O L. the guy at the counter laughed at me, thats encouraging. he gave me this look like 'hmm? trying to score a french boy are we?'. i dont know about that, cause the french boys ive kissed so far hv actually been horrible french kissers. unless perhaps ive been meeting the wrong kinds. boo. hoo.

parle a ma main, bitches! xx

takes a lifetime to learn what love is

dear diary,

love is letting others have the power to hurt you. somebody posted that on fbook today. its so true. and to know if you love someone is when you cant imagine going on with your life without that person - no matter what others say / and in spite of your differences, etc. hmm.

god works in the most mysterious ways, doesnt he? (or she?) xx

yeah yeah, this is ze!

dear diary,

yes im indecisive. but today i made a decision. to fuckin make it easy on everyone to just call me Ze (pronounced zay, people), because obv im getting tired of having to hold a presentation as to how to pronounce saer ze. its taken too much of my breath. and time. and more breath. so Ze! it is :) if u still cant pronounce that, here's a gun.

plus, it's my sister's BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!! the big 2 2. i heart my mini me.

ze signs out xx

lucky like johnny

dear diary,

how does he do it? ive read the story of johnny cupcakes a hundred times over and still get impressed every time. stories like his are easier read, i suppose, and im sure he's had countless down times as well. hmm.. inspiring!

luck never comes without hardwork. period. xx

amsterdamaged for good

dear diary,

its been a week and i'm still trying to recover from last weekend. DANCEVALLEY was nowhere near what i expected my european debut show would ever be like... in the midst of holland's no.1 dance festival, 50,000 people, sun shining, wind blowing and just as i thought everything's perfect - i actually had 4 boys dancing with me. The heavens love me :) and my homeboys MC DUSAAR totally rocked the stage!! We hungout til the end of the festival where Carl Cox/Tiesto/Ferry Corsten played. Next day, with the BLUE NOSE crew - crazy bunch i might add - was w.i.c.k.e.d. .... where i performed, De Heeren Van Aemstel, is close to Dam Square and is a cozy bar, perhaps about 300 pax that night... all on their feet dancing by the end of the night! wooh! no doubt, i love amsterdam and wanna go back. anybody wanna host me next? i dont smell, i promise.

we were supposed to do a radio show the next day, before my train back to brussels... naturally everybody was too off their faces. lol. love u guys xx

ladies of the world

i love these guys! ;)



if every soldier in this world, puts down his weapon... and pick up a woman. what a peaceful world this would be! cheers me up everytime xx

lets all be normal

dear diary,

i need to take a deeeep breath. okay. focus.

so ruben finally brought the stuff i left here 2 years ago. The shoes, the heart-pouring artwork and my songbook! aaah. ive also forgotten i had the novel 'extremely loud n incredibly close'... a story thats close to my heart. its so heartbreaking but a beautiful read. thinking about the hopes i had when i was here then arent that different from the ones i have now. thats pretty scary. which is maybe the reason why i think i should obey the mind this time. n not the heart. doesnt mean im not doing what i want, but it means with much less emotions. makes it easier. my life is on hold right now, im just completing a little mission. i wonder y i want it so badly sometimes. y cant i just grow up n follow the rat race like everybody else n be happy. you know, like, pop out a few babies, visit my mom every weekend, cook for my husband, shop at the nearest mall, hangout w my colleagues, wear the same clothes everybody does, talk like everybody does, go on a holiday once a year, save money and wait to retire, worry about my bills, worry about my babies, wonder if my husband is faithful enough, check my bank account once a week, do my laundry, go to my high school reunion and be happy im not still single like me, would love to go out dancing but my husband says no, make my in-laws happy, play the piano, listen to carrie underwood n think she's the shit, watch tv, buy a new phone everytime a new one comes out, turn 60 and think wow ive had a very well-organized life, brag about ur children who is now a doctor/lawyer, drive around the neighbourhood in ur fancy bmw, play golf everyday and die.

on second thought, im happy im doing what im doing xx