lego heels

dear diary,

my sister blogged these heels. they're balenciago lego and they're US$4175. and who the hell said the best things in life are free? go shoot yourself! I WANT THESE SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! goddamit.

xx

x

dear diary,

i dont want to go home.

xx

i am the shiznit

dear diary,

how the fuck can they compare me to that bitchofaslut? i dress better, dance better, and sure as hell smell better. n i keep it real, dont think u know wht that means, whore. no, i dont use the word HO, cause whore is in fact the correct spelling. hmm. all of a sudden i hv the urge to check on news of back home. gimme a sec. okay, boring. same ol same old. oil, sodomizing, oil, sodomizing, who has more power, who doesnt, who has money, who doesnt. people, there r more important things in life like will i get too see amy winehouse live before anything bad happens to her. which, ofc i hope not but she already is a fckn legend, so girl pls dont do a hendrix on us. im now regretting not catching her at glasto. slap myself. urhk.

haha, dont take me seriously. ever. xx

hey, witch

dear diary,

somebody wrote me this email a couple of days ago. i cant believe i almost deleted it without reading...

"You've reeled in another little USA fan. I'm lovin' your shit. Your "bitches don't fuck with me, I'm the damn elektro-goddess" attitude is very alluring, and it's one of the main reasons I love your stuff. You're quite possibly the funnest artist I've encountered, and I'm talking your music up in my area.Anyway, I found "too sexy" by freak chance about a year or two back with no artist name attatched to the file, and spent the entire time just trying to figure out who should be exhalted for its creation. The amount of confidence and flirtaciousness you put out in your work is, in all honestly, a huge inspiration to me, and has shown up in some melodies I've worked out as well as in the death of my being socially shy. I really wish more people knew of you!!But whatever you're doing, you must be doing it right to have this kind of impact on a person. Looking forward to future productions from ya, honey."

love, thanks for the electrogasmic moment. u know who u are ;) xx

hello, where is the disco

dear diary,

my myspace hit the 100,000 of profile views today. wootness. i'm celebrating that by releasing yet another track, HELLO DISCO, which is now the first track on the player :) also, VERY IMPORTANT to note that if you google 'i am glam' you will find that i'm on the first page. haha.

rocksteady, bitches! xx

love is a four-letter word

dear diary,

i cant sleep until i wrote this. was watchin dexter earlier, it was the first time i actually watched it and didnt think it was v impressive but that doesnt matter. point is, one of them went on a date that went bad and said he figured something out about life. he says 'there can only ever be one beautiful relationship in your lifetime, and i've already had mine', smiled to himself and moved on. it's disturbing to think if it's true, cause i think i might have had mine too.

love is a four-letter word xx

here & there

dear diary,

there i've everything
a room of my own
a place to call home

here i've nothing
a space to sleep
almost, with enough to eat

there are my friends
here are new trends

there i can drive
when im sad and deprived
from the things i really want in life

but here i can live
and be proud of what i can achieve
and not be ashamed of my dreams

there i want to escape
from what i am
blame others when i can

here i am free
to be all i wish to be
and see things differently

there i've everything
a room of my own
and a place to call home

but i still want to be here
where i'm broke and happy, right here.

xx

are french kisses really from france?

dear diary,

okay, ive succumbed. finally bought a book to learn french, L to the fucking O L. the guy at the counter laughed at me, thats encouraging. he gave me this look like 'hmm? trying to score a french boy are we?'. i dont know about that, cause the french boys ive kissed so far hv actually been horrible french kissers. unless perhaps ive been meeting the wrong kinds. boo. hoo.

parle a ma main, bitches! xx

takes a lifetime to learn what love is

dear diary,

love is letting others have the power to hurt you. somebody posted that on fbook today. its so true. and to know if you love someone is when you cant imagine going on with your life without that person - no matter what others say / and in spite of your differences, etc. hmm.

god works in the most mysterious ways, doesnt he? (or she?) xx

yeah yeah, this is ze!

dear diary,

yes im indecisive. but today i made a decision. to fuckin make it easy on everyone to just call me Ze (pronounced zay, people), because obv im getting tired of having to hold a presentation as to how to pronounce saer ze. its taken too much of my breath. and time. and more breath. so Ze! it is :) if u still cant pronounce that, here's a gun.

plus, it's my sister's BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!! the big 2 2. i heart my mini me.

ze signs out xx

lucky like johnny

dear diary,

how does he do it? ive read the story of johnny cupcakes a hundred times over and still get impressed every time. stories like his are easier read, i suppose, and im sure he's had countless down times as well. hmm.. inspiring!

luck never comes without hardwork. period. xx

amsterdamaged for good

dear diary,

its been a week and i'm still trying to recover from last weekend. DANCEVALLEY was nowhere near what i expected my european debut show would ever be like... in the midst of holland's no.1 dance festival, 50,000 people, sun shining, wind blowing and just as i thought everything's perfect - i actually had 4 boys dancing with me. The heavens love me :) and my homeboys MC DUSAAR totally rocked the stage!! We hungout til the end of the festival where Carl Cox/Tiesto/Ferry Corsten played. Next day, with the BLUE NOSE crew - crazy bunch i might add - was w.i.c.k.e.d. .... where i performed, De Heeren Van Aemstel, is close to Dam Square and is a cozy bar, perhaps about 300 pax that night... all on their feet dancing by the end of the night! wooh! no doubt, i love amsterdam and wanna go back. anybody wanna host me next? i dont smell, i promise.

we were supposed to do a radio show the next day, before my train back to brussels... naturally everybody was too off their faces. lol. love u guys xx

ladies of the world

i love these guys! ;)



if every soldier in this world, puts down his weapon... and pick up a woman. what a peaceful world this would be! cheers me up everytime xx

lets all be normal

dear diary,

i need to take a deeeep breath. okay. focus.

so ruben finally brought the stuff i left here 2 years ago. The shoes, the heart-pouring artwork and my songbook! aaah. ive also forgotten i had the novel 'extremely loud n incredibly close'... a story thats close to my heart. its so heartbreaking but a beautiful read. thinking about the hopes i had when i was here then arent that different from the ones i have now. thats pretty scary. which is maybe the reason why i think i should obey the mind this time. n not the heart. doesnt mean im not doing what i want, but it means with much less emotions. makes it easier. my life is on hold right now, im just completing a little mission. i wonder y i want it so badly sometimes. y cant i just grow up n follow the rat race like everybody else n be happy. you know, like, pop out a few babies, visit my mom every weekend, cook for my husband, shop at the nearest mall, hangout w my colleagues, wear the same clothes everybody does, talk like everybody does, go on a holiday once a year, save money and wait to retire, worry about my bills, worry about my babies, wonder if my husband is faithful enough, check my bank account once a week, do my laundry, go to my high school reunion and be happy im not still single like me, would love to go out dancing but my husband says no, make my in-laws happy, play the piano, listen to carrie underwood n think she's the shit, watch tv, buy a new phone everytime a new one comes out, turn 60 and think wow ive had a very well-organized life, brag about ur children who is now a doctor/lawyer, drive around the neighbourhood in ur fancy bmw, play golf everyday and die.

on second thought, im happy im doing what im doing xx

oh, dance off!

dear diary,

i'm sort of meditating today. feels good :) deciding on what to wear for my 2 shows this weekend. on saturday the 12th, i'll be at the CS gigswap /globalicious stage at the DanceValley (begins at 9.20pm) alongside the guys from MC DUSAAR... and on sunday the 13th at Blue Nose Sunday (begins at 7pm) at de Heeren van Aemstel. Will be including my new track I AM GLAM in the sets... should be fun!

oh btw, as of today my mission on facebook has reached $400. woot.

getting ready for a dance-y weekend! x

so little hunger

dear diary,

i'm stressed. stressed? stressed. cant stress how stressed out i am. i was at complete ease just earlier tonight and i amaze myself sometimes at how quickly i can change my emotional state. met mad prof today, cool guy. cant believe he's actually my mom's age. did some groceries on the way home. got soaked in the rain. very sexy. i left the house lookin like a million bucks and by the time i got home... well, at least i felt like a million bucks. lol. depending on which currency we're talking about. i think it's a good idea that i fast tomorrow. be at peace and only focus on my hunger. and nothing else. like my wise friend used to say, "so much food and so little hunger."

he cant be more right xx

are robots heartless?

dear diary,

this is a wrong time to be falling in love. so much is going on, it takes too much of my focus. dont know wht im doing sometimes. most of the time. a part of me wants to be faithful, and the other wants to be careless and not give 2 fucks. y do we have to deal w emotions? it fucks ur plans up. fucks w ur mind. wish i was a robot. or a man. its funny tht once ur heart has been broken, once, its enough to make u cry less the next time it happens. or not cry at all. cause ur soul does the crying for you. which could hurt even more. i was ready for this. being alone. i thought i prepared myself well. suffering a lot fr those choked up sadness in my throat since i got here. u know, when u want to just let it out but u cant. cause u want to be stronger than that. i watched mcavoy on Wanted. brilliant! it was worth the expensive bus trip and cinema ticket to watch him so close up on screen. so close i could smell him. breathe the air he's breathing. lick the blood fr his face as gets punched many times over. and does jolie EVER look bad? mcavoy is such an unlikely hero, which is why i love him. or is it just lust? who can tell the difference anymore?

the heartless robot xx

boys on boys

dear diary,

took a trip via the river into london today n stopped at southbank. tried looking for some free exhibits of the architecture fest n then walked to trafalgar n stumbled upon a freaking gay parade! hallelujah! and i couldnt believe, of all days, i forgot to bring my camera today. after slapping myself in the face, i looked around gaping and enjoyed the scene - pride london it was - hot men of all colour in all colours of the rainbow, w biceps u wont see on 'real' men, walking around w their tush hanging out. bliss! y cant straight men be a lil more... proud?

hmm...wld love to have 2 boys at a go ;)

a glasto virgin no more

dear diary,

so i went to glasto. SO I WENT TO FUCKIN GLASTO!! WOOH!! the atmosphere was just unbelievable. absolute madness. you cant even really b bothered with the bands anymore cause ur so caught up with the crazy things everybody was up to. i kinda enjoyed the mud - getting stuck in my wellies. very sexy. i managed to catch ROISIN MURPHY(!), lupe fiasco, kings of leon, goldfrapp(!), CANSEI DE SER SEXY(!), MGMT, Batteries, martha wainwright, jimmy cliff, eddy grant, derrick may, system 7, manu chao, bands of horses, fatboy slim, the zutons... ok as far as i can remember. and im happy i missed jay z's sorry 'wonderwall' attempt n was at mgmt/css instead. like wtf. he didnt even bother knowing the words n my ass could hv sung it better. it was the SONG that ppl were cheering to, for goodness sake, not him. any idiot cldve sung tht song and the crowd wldv loved it. and no, this is in no way me against hiphop - im no musical racist - just dont like him in particular. but i was a bit upset abt missing amy winehouse... wldve bn awesome. oh, and how can i forget.. i had fun making em smoothies too! haha

a glasto virgin no more xx