moon man is my mr right

dear diary,

i thought to myself today, if i had to choose between scoring an MTV award and scoring MR RIGHT, i believe i'd choose the award. In a glance it seems more achievable and tangible and you know that when you get it, you have it for life and no one can really take the fact that you won the fuckin moon man away from you. but a person, on the other hand, he's not forever. you just never know. plus, how do you know when you've found one? you certainly would know what an mtv award would look like but mr right? what would he look like and how do you define this person? and to think that you normally only find men when you're not looking - wtf is that all about? with sexy moon man, however, theres no way you'll get there if you're not looking to score one. dream the fuck on. its not gonna fucking fall on ur fucking lap. finding mr right is a matter of sheer luck. you're not gonna find him on facebook or match.com or from a girl's night out or at a wedding, but then again, who the hell knows? y should i waste my make up and mobile SMSs on something you dont even know is going the direction you want it to? god knows ive spent a shitload more on mr right. and where has it gotten me? i lost him and thankfully still got a bit of sanity left. but im not sure if it's enough to venture on another. so fuck the ideology of mr right because i already found him and took me fuckin 2 years to discover he was, in fact, mr right - only he wasn't MY mr right. fuck love with a capital F. n the way it just fucking fucks w ur head.

please ignore me, ill be fine by morning xx